Tera Noor...

After a long time, comes yet another song that accelerates my heart beats with each verse, leaves me with goose bumps, hauntingly calls out to my inner strength - the mountain goat that keeps treading upwards no matter how difficult be the trail.

“Tera Noor” is about the true power of a woman. It calls out the super heroes or actually the sheroes lying dormant amongst us. As each beat picks up momentum, it evokes many emotions - wake up, pull up, stand tall, don’t back down, forge forward, persevere, don’t give up, put in better than your best and so many more that I might fall short of words.

Every word is inspirational and helps you brace yourself for any uncertainty that maybe coming your way. I have been listening to this song almost on a loop for last three days and with every loop the words are getting etched in my heart. I can sense that my soul is simmering and I already feel like a better/ braver version of myself.

Some of you may read the above lines and think that the girl has gone wonky but that’s not the case. I’m feeling so inspired and oh what a time to experience this emotion. A year is coming to an end and a new dawn is just awaiting to break. 

This will be my anthem for the year to come. I know it for a fact that this song is powerful enough to keep me going when the times are tough, when I may have to run beyond the last mile or when I may be the chosen one to bring about difference. 

“ Zinda jazbat nahi...

Haq mein halaat nahi...

Maanungi naa haar mujhe hai fateh ka fitoor...

Kyun door...tera noor...”

The Case Of The Missing Comment...

He: Busy?

She: Naah! Just catching up over emails. I was out the whole day. How was your day?

He: it was ok.

She: Hmmmmm

He: How is your trip going on?

She: It’s been great so far. Still assimilating the hotel room size.So used to the spacious rooms in Delhi hotels that this one in Mumbai is surprising.

He: Yeah that’s there.

She: It’s alright. I won’t be spending most days inside the room anyways.

He: Oh by the way I read your last post and I commented on it.

She:  (long pause) What? You? Commented on my post?

He: (smiling) Yes I did. Didn’t you read it?

She: (shocked) Nooooooooooooo! I did not get it. I have activated comment moderation so I would have definitely gotten an alert if you would have written a comment.

He: But I did. It was anonymous though. I didn’t want you to know that I had read it but if you would have read the comment then you would have known that who wrote it.

She: No way! Hang on! Let me check the blog dashboard. (scrolling through) Nooooo! It’s not there. I don’t see any anonymous comment. Are you pulling my leg?

He: No!

She: this is not possible. Ok let’s not worry about the comment. Tell me what did you write?

He: Naah! I won’t tell it like this. That’s the reason I had written the comment.

She: Hey but that’s not fair. I want to know what you wrote. You have to tell me.

He: No ways!

She: Please…please….please. You have to tell me. I want to know.

He: I can only tell you that when I read the post I thought, she is thinking haywire and it’s time I write a comment to lay all self-created doubts to rest.

She – Is it? If that’s the case then you must tell me what the comment stated.

He: No dear. I will not tell. I will write another comment on another post in the times to come and this time I will ensure that you receive it.

She: Hey but that won’t be the same comment. I want to know what you wrote this time.

He: Nice try but not happening…

She: Oh….oh…..ohhhooooooo!!

And so went on the conversation for two hours. This happened,in the wee hours of one night this month, between two souls who are crazy in their own right. Maybe they did find the missing comment… eh?

Two And Maybe Forever...

This one has been one hell of a ride. Every now and then we come across people we never expected to cross our paths and they end up changing our lives forever. The funny part is that it all started with confusion and it still confuses me. 

Two years back, Shera came charging in my life and what a roller coaster ride I have been on since then. The journey has been like an ultimate long island tea - endearing, tumultuous, sweet n sour, tangy, heady, and consuming.  

With seasons changing, our association has also changed a lot and only time will tell where it is headed. But why should that stop me from celebrating a small milestone – the terrible twos (don’t panic coz I am using the term when babies turn two… wink…wink…)

What do I wish for, now that we’ve reached here? Ummmmm…a lot of things actually.

I wish that we bring back the warmth of the connect that we used to have. We don’t have to talk to each other whole day but maybe we stop being strangers coz we aren’t.

I wish that both of us leave the clouds of our personal troubled times from the last several months behind us and learn to be vulnerable again. In our attempt to be the superman/ superwoman, we have forgotten the fact that we are actually humans and we should act like one.

I wish that none of us holds any grudge for things gone wrong. Come upfront and bring everything on table for the other to see and assimilate. It all comes to down to being vulnerable and telling all that has gone unsaid…

I wish we both could believe in the power of transparency. I deserve to know anything going in your life that has an impact on me and so should you.

I wish we both would not let our actions lead the other person into believing what we may be trying to convey, instead we actually speak out what we want to convey.

I wish that even if one of us reaches out to the other, asking to be heard, no matter how busy we are, we take out time. Even if we don’t want to do this, we still make time coz the other one asked for it. Once the time goes, it never comes back and we would never get to know what the other person wanted to share. This could make all the difference and so this one is really important.

I wish we never leave an opportunity to celebrate life together coz that’s what dear ones are for.

I wish we never leave an opportunity to make cherished memories coz these are what sail us through our old age.

I wish we always find reasons to make each other smile and feel special. This is priceless.

I wish that if ever it is time to bid adieu then we tell the other in person and not let them second guess. Nobody deserves to go through something like this.

There is so much more that I could wish for but if we could even start with the above mentioned, wonders would happen.

Enough with the rhetoric so I shall now pause.

Cheers to the two and wishing to celebrate many more in the years to come…

Gratitude...

As kids we were taught to say “Sorry” and “Thank You” as the situation required. It was supposed to be good manners. Over the years, whenever I would say these words out of habit, most of the times my buddies would say “Oh! You don’t have to say sorry/ thank you!! What are friends for?”

In fact, I used to be such a buddy for my friends & acquaintances. I don’t recall the exact time but probably it was around the time my father passed away, I realized the power of speaking out what’s there in your heart and mind. You never know what would happen next and I for one would not want to vanish in thin air before telling others what I felt. 

I’ve learnt that the missed opportunities always suck…

So I did resolve that I will always express my gratitude to the ones who are or would be by my side during my times of need. 

One such instance occurred last Friday when I was returning from a learning conclave and my dear car started giving me a trouble. Unfamiliar territory, severe traffic jam, ticking hours of late evening, did not help my case. I was anxious and with each passing minute my anxiety was increasing.

While I was trying my best to come out of this situation, guardian angels suddenly appeared – one after the other. First came Shera and then followed SB.

They did their best to get the car repaired, keep my anxiety at bay and also had my room upgraded at the hotel where I had to check in under emergency. It did not end there. They made my evening memorable and were more worried than me about getting the car repaired. The next evening, when I finally headed back home, I realized that I had not expressed my gratitude to both of them.

While SB enquired whether everything was fine, Shera , as usual, was somewhere fighting another battle for somebody else and thus I could not thank him for his help.

So here I am, doing what I like the best – using my forum to express my feelings for the ones who matter.

Shera & SB – I can’t thank you enough for helping me out. I couldn’t have sailed through the choppy tide without you guys. Happy to have you in my life. 

God bless & take care…

Safar

It always feels good to come back to my world of penning thoughts and sharing them out with the ones out there. Over the last several years, I have begun to realize that there is a gypsy somewhere living inside me, who craves new trails and passages.

There have been times when I have nurutured this personality of mine and made the most of every avaialable opportunity to travel and then there are times when I deliberately subdue it coz work's all that takes up my attention. 

Well for past 2 years I have not really been able to travel the way I would love to. I must tell you all here that work did take me to new places within India, short stays and long ones as well. I did explore as much as I could but still could not let out the gypsy within me. Work was always on the back of my mind.

 So  suddenly few weeks back, when I heard this song, something stirred in me. And since then, this urge to travel - just to satiate myself, has been slowly building strength within me. With friends or solo, it doesn't matter but I have to have to travel  now. I can't let more time slip by becuase it is this moment that we must live in and cherish.

So, very soon, I would pack a bag, tie my shoe laces and pop I would go to another destination unknown to me. While company of friends always brings in lots of laughter and fun, it is the solo trails that satiates my soul. It is just a matter of time.

While I wait to embark on the next journey, I would have to be content with these tunes only for now and trust me- these are addictive, a music to any travellers ears.

Happy listening amigos...

Happy Birthday Shera...

I sit next to the window in my hotel room, gazing out at the midnight traffic, tapping my fingers on the laptop keyboard and wondering… what is it that I want to wish for your birthday.

Yes…your birthday. 

Time flies in a jiffy and it’s that day of the year again. 

Mmmmmm coming back to the wishes.Well there’s a lot that I would like to wish for you and here goes me…mind you… it’s all heartfelt…

I hope that this birthday fulfills the dream that you have been working so hard for… the success of your venture.

I hope it fills you with a sense of well-being and you keep your health before anything else.

I hope it makes you understand that to win the adulation that you long for; you have to win hearts - not with luxury or lavishness but with substance.

I hope it makes you value the people who care about you and worry about you all the time. And when you do, you move mountains to make time for them. Because nothing is as precious as time - once gone, it will never come back. Because no one is as precious as the ones who care – once they go, life usually doesn’t give us a second chance with them.

May the Gods shower you with so many blessings that the good in your heart grows exponentially and nothing could overshadow it.

I hope that the love exhibited by your dear ones on your special day or any other, makes you realize that you should keep it real with them. Always…say what you mean and mean what you say to them.

May the good forces always guide you to do right by the people who mean the world to you and vice versa.

May you shine bright…shine as bright as the sun that a Leo symbolizes. When the king of the jungle, stands at the tip of the highest cliff around, head held high, its mane going wild with the wind…nothing is more spectacular than that. I’m not saying you go wild with your mane (wink wink) but I hope, wish and pray that you become the king that you were always meant to be. And when you do…hold your head high and feel the breeze of success.

There so much more that I want to say but my eyelids slowly blink. They say that it’s time to call it a night. With a song on my lips I now sign off. It’s not one of the usual ones you hear me listening to, but one that I happened to stumble upon by chance and thank God for that…

Happy birthday Shera!!!

Creating Ado About Nothing...

This one’s for a King & Queen who are very dear to me. He is the King of Style and she is the Queen of Elegance.

When they are together, they glow to glory and no one can escape their charm. But when they are at odds, they can be two stubborn mules waiting for each other to concede. 

As one season changed to another, both of them didn’t seem to notice when their fingers moved away from the redial button on the mobile and started selecting the message, while disconnecting the phone. In fact, the disconnected calls turned tounanswered calls sooner than they had thought.

There was a time when both couldn’t stay away from talking with each other and alas, came a time when they would go without speaking to each other for days.

The Queen missed him, missed his voice and his touch so she mustered all the courage that she had, and wrote a heartfelt letter. The King, surprised, taken aback, forged forward to comfort her. Being the master of few words that he had become, he still made her believe that all was well in their paradise. 

Few days of bliss just flew by and the Queen once again felt the pangs of isolation engulfing her. She felt the King drifting away towards work, personal struggles and maybe something more. If only, he would open up and speak about all of it. If only….

A health blip scared the Queen and off she went looking for her King. Just when she needed him, he, surrounded with his world of worries, brushed her off.

“You are creating ado about nothing”

It is then, that the Queen, with her head held high, stepped aside. She could put everything at stake, sans her pride.

As summer slowly descends upon spring, the fate of the King and Queen hangs in silence. He can’t leave his streak – workaholic, stressed, aloof. She cannot fathom his streak. Why can’t work and love go hand in hand? One doesn’t have to cross another…

Only if the stubborn mules stop creating ado…about everything….or nothing...

Kal Ho Na Ho...

Last two days have been perplexing. A good news and not so good news as well. My bestie became an aunt and I heard that squeal of joy in her voice after ages. Her smile brought smile to my day that has overstretched beyond measure. My spirits lifted, thanks to the new cherub in town. God bless him.

And then my heart went back to a colleague of mine. I remembered that my day had started with the news that he had lost his mother. A silent, kind hearted business suppport executive, RT is the back bone of one of the accounts I manage. I'm a fan of his hard working nature and prompt attitude.

RT would go home every weekend and when this news reached me, the first thought that hit me was-

"Hope he was with his mother when she passed away."

The pain of losing a parent is unfathomable and everytime such a thing happens, I end up thinking about only one this.

Did we told the person that we loved them?
Did we spent enough time with them?
Did we do right by them?
Did we let our egos come in between the relationship and kill it slowly and painfully?
Did we let silence grow between us like a towering beast?

Oh I could go on and on.

My heart goes out for RT and I wish I could do something to help him sail through his loss. But only time can do that, probably. As for all of us, before we lose someone dear, let's bridge gap, let's be there for them, let's be with them for as much time as possible. Let work not come between us and the people who matter the most to us.

क्योंकि कल हो ना हो॥ 

She Should Be Special... Everyday...

Well life is such that all of us get lost in the daily rigmarole and tend to neglect the dear ones in our lives. And then some wizards come into the picture. The created these special days, dedicated to the ones who are an integral part of our loves – mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, friends, bosses and the list goes on.

I’m guilty of not reaching out to several dear ones in my life and telling them time and again – how special they are to me. On the other hand, I would also like to believe that I feature in a similar list for few people (wink). 

What I don’t understand is how only a single day dedicated to these special people, can make a difference. Come a special day, my Facebook page, WhatsApp gets flooded with dedicated messages and I frankly can’t relate to any of them. 

Something similar happened on this 8th March. People, who would not have greeted me in ages in person or on phone, bombarded me with Women’s Day greetings. I politely thanked all.

But here’s what I feel. Only one day dedicated to Women across the world is not enough and does not do justice to the special eves in our lives. Our mothers (and in law), aunts, daughters (and in law), sisters (and in law), wives, nieces, grandmothers, lovers, friends etc deserve far more attention than on just one day.

We are nothing without them and thus we should not leave any opportunity to tell them how special they are to us.  

We should make every day a “Women’s Day” for these special ones…

We should celebrate them every day…

If we know eves who do not have anyone to make them feel special, then we should spread joy in their lives. We can go a step further and associate with organizations who dedicate their operations to betterment, upliftment of women and girl child.

It is now or never. Come forward and make this small change in your thought process – it has to be every day instead of just one day.

These ladies may grace your lives today but maybe in the very next moment they might not be there and then you would be left pondering – “Oh why did I miss out on loving them, caring for them, being there for them, making them feel special, being there in their times of needs?”

Call your mother right this moment and tell her you love her from the bottom of your heart and your life is incomplete without her. How about ensuring that she has that much needed health insurance coz she is ageing. 

Hold your partner’s hand and whisper in her ears “you complete me”. Be her partner in the daily chores too coz she might be working as hard as you or even more.

Tell your sister that no one’s a better soundboard than her. Be there for her when she needs one.

Call your friend / girlfriend and tell her – without her wackiness, days lose fun and how her being your 4am friend makes you overcome all your troubles. Be there to wipe her tears, when she is down and out. Call her to ask how she is doing, when she least expects it.

I could go on and on with what we should be telling them and how often, but I will take a pause here. I can only tell you. At the end of the day, it’s you who has to take this step forward and celebrate them.

I also want to tell you that even we women should celebrate the special Adams in our lives in exactly the same way and one day would not do justice to them as well.

So what is it going to be for you? On a lighter note, let’s see how many dear ones of mine reach out to me after reading this note (wink, wink)…

Fade Away...

Every year I think that the memory would fade a bit, the tick tock of the clock would stop reminding me of what transpired and I would somehow get over it.

But here we are ... fourteen years and still going strong. Not an iota of change. Guess that's how it's going to be forever. I keep missing you dad and ever so more, with each passing day. 

Wherever you are, I know you're watching over us. How I wish you were right next to us... today and forever...

Hoping that you are at peace...

Litmus Test...

This post should have been my last post for 2016 but it's horribly delayed. I was wondering whether to even write it or skip it. But then I thought, how do I not write about the learning that the year left in my lap as it walked towards the sun set. 

Well the year gone by ended on an unexpected note. I have often talked about things that have troubled me and ended up becoming life lessons for me. Well this one became the latest addition.

Some say that every person who you are close to - personally and professionally would dissapoint   you or let you down, at least once. I leave it up to your fair judgement - whether this time it was personal or professional. 

Relax... I won't bore any of you with the sordid details of what went by. I will only talk about the lesson that it taught me.

It taught me about the Litmus Test...

Life is all about these litmus tests. You never know when, one is waiting for you right at the corner. 

I learnt that -

 "When the litmus test uncovers what's around you...

   What do you do?
   Keep your head high, do what you do the best... persevere..."

And when you pass it, with your chin up, you move on... determined, maybe a bit scarred but hopeful.

Until the next litmus test greets you...

Ek Dafaa...

For me music is the way to my soul. What I sense around me, what I experience, music helps me absorb it better. It's my saviour when I hit rock bottom and it's my budddy that adds that spring in my stride when I am happy or excited. 

It is amazing how suddenly while driving, when I change FM channels, a change in the song makes me squeal with glee, my eyes pop with pleasure and my heart says - "Oh now that's a cool song". If  it happens to be a song I would be hearing for the first time then I would go about looking it up.

While driving back tonight, as I was lost in my thoughts, ruminating about all that has been happening in the last few days, I unconsciously changed the music channel and voila. I heard the last few lines of a song and it woke me from my reverie. 

This one is pop, groovey yet haunting and touches every emotion that you go through when you are far away from your dear one... far away in person, in thoughts... just far away...

Reached home, googled it, found it and placed it on loop. 

It seems that this one might help me sail through...Ek Dafaa...

Suno Na...

सुनो  ना... 

चाह के भी आवाज़ तुम तक नहीं पहुच पाती.  ... 

सुनो ना. ... 

ये अजब सी दुरी समझ नहीं आती  ... 

सुनो ना  ... 

साथ है या अलग है  ... ये पहेली समझ नहीं आती  ... 

एक दूजे के लीये हो के भी नहीं है. ... 

ये कमी खलती जाती  ... 

कही ऐसा वक़्त ना आ जाये कि जहान को भी लगे   ... 

कि इन दोनों में वो बात नहीं, जज़्बा नहीं, वो प्यार नहीं. ... 

बस चन्द दिनों का साथ था  ... 

रेत पे लिखे नाम की तरह  ... 

जब हवा का झोखा आया  ... 

सब मिटाता हुआ चला गया  ... आंधी की तरह. .   

अगर कुछ दिल को कचोट रहा है  ... तो बताओ ना  ... 

ऐसे चुप ना रहो  ... मुझे सताओ न  ... 

अगर वादा सिर्फ आज भर के साथ का था  ... 

तो निभा के चले जाने दो  ... 

मगर चाह ज़िन्दगी भर के साथ की है तो  ... 

मूझे रोक लो  ... जाने ना दो  ... 

जो भी है. ... मेरे सामने रखो  ... 

ऐसे मत हवा में लीन हो  ... सुनो ना. ... 

जो मन में चल रहा है  ... कहो ना  ... 

Welcome 2017...

Though a little late but neverthless, here it is - My welcome note for 2017. 

With renewed fervour, a string tying the pearls of hope, dreams as colourful as the balloons above and a pinch of nervous excitement, I welcome you 2017 with open arms.

2016 was crazy, happy, mad, sad, numbing and shocking, all in one go. I don't expect you to be any easier but I do know, as I stand on the 8th step out of the 365, that you are going to be different, exhilarating and crazier than the year gone by.

Firstly, a heartfelt thank you to all the guardian angels who stood by me in my times of need. I could not have sailed through without you guys and I hope that you bless me with your gracious presence in 2017 as well.

A break from the unending tests would be welcomed but that doesn't mean I ain't up for them. Don't tug away people dear to me - personally and professionally. Give me the passion to follow my vocation seriously than ever before. Make me take the first step towards my dream of being able to spread the joy in whatever ways I can. Push me to travel solo and with dear ones to places I have never set my foot on. Amidst the daily chaos, no matter what happens, always make me remember that I have to always be by side of my dear ones in their times of need. Take punitive steps if I repeat same mistakes again.

There is so much more that I want to see happening in 2017 but all I would like to mention is - keep me grounded and keep me humane, as I rise too high or I fall flat. 

Raising a toast - to the new beginnings...cheers!!!