Distraught...

A perfectly beautiful and fulfilling day at work was marred by the wails of our mother earth. It got smeared by the blood of those innocents; the innocents who died an unjust death in front of the house of justice. 

The ones who departed, the time was not on their side. They became the chosen one and before any body realised, the were suddenly gone. 

The uncertainty disturbs me and flashes a chilling streak of fear across my spine. When would certainty become the fate of life? When would peace prevail without any fear?

As I search the answers to these questions, many more pop up in my distraught mind. But finding an answer, it seems,is going to take a very long time. Before I drown in the whirlpool of these ever increasing questions,I want to do something that may bring me some peace. 

So I close my eyes,bow down my crown; With full faith, I urge myself to pray for those who are gone. May your souls rest in peace. My dear Mother Earth please do not weep. 

The events of the day gone by, made so many mortals cry. How long would all of us weep? What if our empathy just dries? 

Yes! I am distraught! Can someone just come by...give me a hug...and assure me that it's going to be alright. 

I really need that hug. 

Can someone just come, give me a hug and tell me it's going to be alright?

Dawn...

As the pages bid adieu, saying that the story has come to an end...

My head falls on the pillow; my day has come to an end...

But before my eyes close...

And before I fall into the realm of sleep...

I see a streak of light...

And the light beckons me...

Its warmth caresses me...cajoles me...

It's as if the light is speaking with me...

"I am the first light of the day, how can you sleep & ignore me ?   

I am the dawn, the day emanates from me...

How wise is it to turn your day upside down?

When it is time to charge up, you are ready to lie down".

I face the warm light with a smile & a sigh...

I want it to know, that's not usually how I live life...

It's a new phase of my life...

And I am loving it with each moment that is passing by...

My lambent dawn...

Do not get disheartened, do not feel wrong...

I soak in your first rays...

Preserve them, as I pass into the slumber phase of my days...

I want you to know that...your warmth stays with me...

And when I wake up, it happily greets me...

"As if it whispers- Welcome back my dear...

So long you've been gone...

But now that you're here...let me sing a song...

You have a great day ahead...

And I'll meet you, once again at dawn".

First Steps...

Trepidation, anxiety, nervousness and excitement outlined the day that went by today. Yet another beginning unfolded in front of me. It left me queasy as I saw expectations arise when I was being introduced to my new extended family.

New role, new company, new sector sounds exciting and exhilarating. Yet, there's a silver lining. Deep down somewhere in my heart, something is nagging me.

Would I be able to take on what's in store for me? Would I be able to fill in the shoes that my predecessor has emptied for me? Would I enjoy the calm and quiet environ as against the earlier noisy one? Would the seemingly smooth road soon give way to a bumpy ride?

As these questions surround me...I look back at my first day. Never mind the anxiety, never mind the queasiness.  

I shall not fear taking the first steps. For those who fear, they dwindle, they stagger and they fail to find the firm earth. 

So I shall walk, leaving behind inhibitions, leaving behind trepidation and try to give it my best shot. I shall fill the vacant slot differently and let my style define the work. 

Twelve Years & A Happy Birthday...

Twelve years back as I moved from a small township to the state capital of our country, anxiety pangs knotted my stomach. New home, new people, new roads, new buildings......

It excited me, made me nervous and I could see fear lurking round the corner. Life went on. And then suddenly, like a whiff of fresh air, a silhouette appeared in my life. 

I don't remember the day we really met but it was definitely in the month of July 1999. I don't really remember how we got introduced and started talking there on. Neither do I remember why I waited up for you, so that we could enter our classes together; nor do I know what made me share my notes when the exams were round the corner( I was extremely possessive about my academic notes back then). 

We are poles apart but its these differences that have kept us together all these years. We complement each other with our zeniths and nadir and that outlines our relationship which grows stronger with each passing day.

We've been tested, we've been grilled but thank the One above, we are still strong and tranquil. 

Dear Rachu!! What better day to celebrate our togetherness, our companionship, if not today? 

Beginning today, this year and for many more years to come, I shall remember this day as the day we really met and our lives got entwined together....forever. Please accept "Twelve Years and a Happy Birthday" as a token of  my affection for you.

Many many Happy Returns of the day dear. Hope you had a great day........God Bless you........

Happy Father's Day...

When I think of Father's Day, I go down the memory lane. Across that lane, I meet a father who used to sing " I Am A Teapot...." at 0200 hrs on his mobile sitting at his workplace. 

Why would he do that? 

That's coz his cherubic son used to listen to this song while the Forty Winks Fairy slowly embraced him in her arms.

Across that lane, I meet a father ( and a mother) who would recite the names of the plants in the garden to their son, while tending those greens. They felt extremely proud when the baby boy recognized "Portulaca" as " Lucu Lucu Laca".

Across that lane, I meet a father ( and a mother) who experienced the luxury of sitting in "Lamborghini" and "BMW" when their cherub called out to his favourite "Bong-Gaadi" and "Car W" respectively.

Across that lane,I meet a father ( and a mother) who would not care two hoots about the on going movie, when their son suddenly fell ill in the multiplex and puked.

I come face to face with a lot of fond memories as I walk down that memory lane.

I apologize to all the doting Mothers out there for not writing on Mother's day about the love and bonding a mother shares with her child.. But I am making up for it by writing on this Father's Day.

Dear Raghu!! This one's for you!!

A very Happy Father's Day to one of the sweetest Fathers I have known...Dhairya is so lucky to have Yamini and you in his life...

God Bless You All......

Disoriented...

Its slowly creeping upon me. I woke up in the morning with a start and for a second didn't know where I was. The alarm tone of my BB rose me from my slumber. It rings at the very same time every morning, yet I felt like asking-  "What time is it"? 

I woke up in the same bed, on the same side where I've been sleeping for the last 3 years. Yet, I felt like asking- "Whose bed is it"?

Once my eyes opened, I failed to remember that I had already left behind my Monday morning blues and a new Tuesday was awaiting me. I felt like asking - "What day is it today"?

At my workplace, while I was wading through the tasks waiting for me in galore, I failed to place names on to several new faces. I felt like asking- "Who are they"?

Sitting behind the wheels, as I think about the day gone by, I skipped the usual turn I take at India Gate. I swore - "Where the **** am I"?

It seems to me that "Disorientation" had a field day. It found an easy prey in me and feasted upon me the whole day.

Yes....I am disoriented....

Of Pigtails & Chubby Cheeks...

When we tread down the memory lane, flashes from the past walk by. They bring a smile (well most of them I guess), and make us think - Oh! I so wish those days could come by.

One such memory is that of-

Pigtails and Chubby Cheeks.

Lets call them P&CC.

So, P&CC have more or less been an inseparable part of our childhood. The silky soft tendrils that curl at the end.... the soft curve of that teeny weenie cheek....

Every P&CC has a story to tell.

The Five Pigtails

It tells the story of a mother -daughter. They used to have a ball of a time while mommy dearest pigtailed her daughter's tender strands. It tells the story of a concerned mother, who didn’t want her child to feel the simmering heat of summers and thus she ensured that the strands were securely tied away.

The Chutney Bath

It tells the story of a baby's soft n fluffy cheeks, way before the Johnson & Johnsons of the world were discovered. The magical potion of butterfat and raw milk did the wonders. As a kid, my brother used to call it the “Chutney Bath” and would look forward to the extra attention that Ma gave.

The Disheveled Pigtails

It tells the story of mischievous siblings. Brother bear troubles the baby sister and as they play, fight, twist or turn, the pigtails become disheveled. Is any body bothered by that? Nah….it just goes unnoticed in all the playful mayhem.

The Chubby Cheeks

It tells the story of the cutest and the softest cheeks that got kissed…pinched…and caressed innumerable times. Someone wanted to bite them gently while someone sighed – “ I wish I had soft cheeks like those….”. This moment used to be a proud moment for mommy-daddy duo. Their darling baby had arrived….really arrived….

The Colorful Pigtails

It tells the story of a starry eyed mother who dotes on her babies and loves to dress ‘em up. She cannot stop herself from buying pretty hair accessories and adorn them on her child’s beautiful strands. With each strawberry clip, each colored bead, each pearly hair band that she ties….her smile widens. “My baby cutest!!” is all she can think.

I could go on and on but these stories won’t end. These stories or rather memories would always stay in our hearts and even help us get through not so good times.

I still remember, every time I would step out to take an exam, my mother dearest would always tell me-

“If you feel stressed out, black out coz you don’t know the answer or you think that the time is ticking too fast……Take a deep breath and think of the cutest baby you have ever come across. Think of its kissable cheeks and crazy pigtails (aka P&CC). The memory will bring a smile and the smile in turn would bring back the courage to face the test. Go out and do your best”.

Tara dearest!! Here I want to tell you that whenever the going gets tough…it is your pigtails & chubby cheeks that I think about. It is you who make me smile during my dark hours.

And I thank you for that.

(PS) – dedicated to Tara, daughter of a very dear family friend. She is the most beautiful child, I have ever come across. In fact her pigtails and mine are absolutely alike.