Do you have anything to declare?

Few minutes back, I was watching one of my favourite movies - Sex & The City 2. I have lost count of the number of times I have seen this movie but it was only today when one of the lines struck a chord with me.

During their journey back from Abu Dhabi, as the girls are settling in their flight, the flight stewardess offers Carrie a card and says - "Do you have anything to declare?" and Carrie replies - "Yes ! I'm a mess" !!

Well last two weeks have been eventful or I should rather say uneventful since I was expecting them to be otherwise. And now, I too have a lot to declare...

I tried the leap of faith and I slipped hard, I bruised myself. I tried to think from my heart, it fooled me again. I wanted to share a hug to make a dear one feel better but the moment never came and now I'm feeling miserable. I wrote a letter to Santa and though Christmas is just round the corner, I have this uncanny feeling that my letter didn't reach him so obviously he's going to skip what I wished for. I'm bad at games and thanks to that, these decepticons are making merry at my expense.

I sometimes wonder, what would it feel like if our lives were just like movies. Either it was happy ending and if not then the movie is not over.

I keep pacifying the unsure cappy in me but that side of me just doesn't want to lie low and keeps popping up and turns me upside down.

Yes!! I have lots to declare though I'm not sure whether it's going to help me or not.

Decepticons...

It suddenly feels as if decepticons have surrounded me. Fakes, liars, stinging scorpions, are hovering around me. They bite, they push, they tease and vanish without any guilt or qualms about their doing.

Everynight when I step out for that short walk to where my vehicle is parked, the razor sharp winds slice through me. It seems as if they are trying to teach me a lesson, punishing me for trying to believe, cussing me for being gullible, questioning my choice and laughing at me.

Can it ever happen that I would take one step and I really mean it...just one step that is not wrong, that has a strong foothold, that is sure of where my bearing are.

Here I was all smiles that I would be welcoming the new year with a sense of happiness. But how wrong I was. The sting....there it was....waiting for its turn...poisonous...hurtful...and it totally singed me.

Someone soothe my mood before I enter this new year. I don't want to start another year with hurt troubling me, solitude gnawing at me and thousands of eyes laughing at me.

Decepticons!!!! Go away.....out of sight...out of mind!!!

Letter to Santa...

Dear Santa,

Hope this letter of mine finds you in happy spirits and I'm sure that you are gearing up for the season ahead. I apologize for writing to you impromptu and I'm sure you were not expecting a letter..atleast from me.

Well it's been a very long time since I wrote to you last. It just so happened that after a long time I'm wishing for certain things in life and thought of reaching out to you for help. I'm going to be a little selfish this time and only ask for myself. A little unlike of me though...

Please do away with the false starts for once and for all. It seems that they have become synonymous with my life. I've had enough of those. While I still have a very long life ahead, I think I can do pretty well without them for many years to come. Please help me get this break even if for a little while.

My cup of happiness seems to be filled half. Please top it up till the brim. I do not wish for an overload of happiness ( won't be able to gather all of it togeter in one go) but I do wish to get what I deserve and what I strive for.

For once, let me get something in life with a bit of ease. I have always persevered much more than required ( that's how it seems to me), much more than probably others do and then I get to have something. I assure you that I would never stop valuing the importance of perseverance but just for some time, I want it off my menu.

Cast a spell that will do away with the fears that constantly gnaw me and define my worry wart streak. Probably many of them have manifested themselves in the form of the grey streakes that I'm gaining quickly. I can surely do without them.

Teach me the art of putting my mind to rest whenever the need arises. It keeps on thinking and it's so mean that it never takes a break. I think I really need that.

I hope that I don't sound too demanding but I could only think of you while soul searching for someone who could help me with my wishes.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Goodnight!!

All That Is Needed Right Now Is A Hug...

Some time back a dear one of mine had said that - "All it takes is a Hug to make things better, feel better, to assure us that the world around us is a beautiful place, to tell us that we have a dear one who will go that extra mile to make us smile, to enlighten us that we can also be special for some one, to convey that someone cares for us.

This dear one even offered to share a hug and make me believe in his belief. Well me being me....I asked him to reserve that one for me and I told him that I shall take it the day I need it the most. Well, to be precise, I told him - "I'll take it when the time is right". 

Few hours back, I was happily star gazing in the starry night and suddenly a bunch of naughty clouds disrupted me. Then came the lightening flash and it started pouring. The chilling winds also added to the prank that the clouds were playing.

While each wisp of my hair went wild and shivering tremors greeted my soul, I suddenly remembered the help my dear one was willing to offer. I finally needed that hug.

While this is what I was going through....several hundred kilometers away this very dear one of mine was undergoing a family exigency. A cousin whom he dearly loves is undergoing a severe medical emergency. He's strong but when it's family, it hits you hard.

I want to tell him that I'm right here with the hug that he needs right now. It may not change the status quo of the medical emergency but it may play some part in making him feel a little better. So whenever he will be back in town, he gets what he needs.

All that is needed right now is a Hug...

Leap of Faith...

I’m going to take a leap of faith...

Give a miss to the mind, place on my heart all of my faith...

Don’t know whether I’ll land or suffer a flat fall...

Don’t know if someone would be out there in dark...

Should I happen to take the fall...

This is a trial that I have to endure...

Put my fears to test & check how far I can go along...

It had to happen some day...

Might as well, today should become the fateful day...

Don’t know what awaits...

Would it be a bruise or an embrace...

A dear one had told me...

Bring down the wall that surrounds me...

For once I should give in to what my heart says...

Hold down my guard...

Let the mood sway...

Only time will tell...

Will this work or will I trudge through hell...

As I gasp for breath...

And let the halo surround me...

Am all set for my leap of faith…

Until Next Time...

They don't call it the "City of Love" for no reason. Though not all is beautiful and starry out there but that one "Epitome of Love" makes up for everything that Agra doe not have.

The "Taj Mahal" makes up for everything.

It was 19 years back that I had my first date with Taj. I was as excited yet nervous just as a young girl on her first date; felt the goose bumps crawling all over me when I got the first glance; I could feel the blood rushing to my face with each step I took and inched closer. Back then, there wasn't so much of rush as I saw this time. It felt serene and peaceful, just like a warm dream.

That memory of being at Taj got etched as one of the most memorable moments of my life. I had tucked it in one small corner and kept it warm. I was pleasantly surprised when suddenly out of nowhere came this opportunity to meet up with my ex flame - "The Taj".

So there I was again, glancing over evey marble piece that came together to be called "The Taj", smiling as memories of my last visit splashed all over me. It stood tall in all its snowy glory, inviting me to make new memories, asking me to melt in the crowd and inhale the spirit of love that surrounds it. It was still as beautiful and majestic as I had remembered it.

As my trip came to an end, I knew there was a small flicker of love that suddenly sparkled in me. It felt as if I was in love again.Oh!!! And how could I forget about what all craziness transpired at the offsite venue during my 2 days of stay.

All in all, this is how I felt and my social media feeds resonate my thoughts...

"Leaving the City of Love after 2 great days...

happy...sleep deprived...nostalgic... brimming with hope...

Until next time..."

I'm Here For You...

With each passing year, our circle of dear ones slowly shrinks away ( well in most cases). We begin with awesome manysome and who we are left with are barely a handful.

With all the trials and tribulations that our respective lives throw at us, it's these handful of bum chums who help us sail through.

I heard something today and it touched my heart. I want to share it with my current circle of dear ones and with those who are destined to be a part of it; it doesn't matter whether they would be with me for many more years to come or they would cross my path for just that millisecond.

I sincerely believe in this and I want my circle to believe it when I tell this to them-

"I'm here for you... whatever it is... whenever you need me..."

If you can't hear me, see it in my expressions...

If you can't see me, then feel it through my touch...

If you can't feel me, hear it in my voice...

And if neither of the aforesaid works...

My prayers will reach out to you...

Always remember...

"I'm here for you... whatever it is... whenever you need me..."