The New Love In My Life...

You are all that we could have asked for. Every time I look at you, the song - "Mere Ghar Aayi Ek Nanhi Pari" comes to my mind. Before you tip toed with that baby pout and twinkling eyes, all we had wanted was a healthy baby.

But somewhere, I was hoping for a girl cherub. I could see myself splurging on the clips, ribbons, booties and what not. I would visualize you with your tender curls and used to count the number of pig tails, I would get to make.

I could see you peeping into my almirah & pulling out my favourite spaghetti just because you liked it too and wanted to wear it. I could see a chubby bumble bee jumping over a sleeping me on weekends because that's when she could not see me asleep. I had already made a count of which traits she would pick from each of her would be family members - her daddy's love for chicken, her mom's cuteness, my attitude & granny's love for sweets.

And now that you are here, I can't wait to see what you have in store for us. Each day brings greater delight than the day gone by. Be it the doped out monkey look, or the arched eyebrow that I get when I'm too chatty, to the sweet pea smile you give when your daddy calls out your name, or the peek-a-boo game that you love to play with your mommy.

Every day when I wake up, my steps take me to you and when I come back home from an exhausting day, one glimpse of yours is enough to energize me. I look forward to move my fingers across your dainty, chubby cheeks, seeking out that rare gorgeous smile that you dole out once in a while.

Our princess!! I wanted to tell you that you are dearly loved and you make each day special with your presence.

There's a new love in my life and she's called Pinka!!

God bless you love....

Miss You Dada...

It's been 11 years. Every year when this day approaches, I think I'm going to sail through smoothly. I assure myself that I have mourned enough and I'm past the pain that the thoughts would bring in. I keep telling myself that there is no way that this one day would affect me so much since I think about you every single day.

But the truth is different. Every year when finally the clock strikes 12 at midnight, it seems that I travel back to that day when you moved on to a different world. I've come to realise that no matter how many years go by, no matter with how much of ease I can speak about that fateful night, I will never stop thinking about you.

How I wish, there was something that I could have done to stop you from going forever and I will keep thinking about this until it's my time to go. Another year, another night, but the truth still remains the same...

Miss you dada.... more and more with each passing year...

Rest in peace...

Fog...

The night that went by was no ordinary night. It brought the first fog of the season. Dense, grey, white at times, it brought alive the fears frozen around.

It was not just another fog, it was a manifestation of how the soul is feeling inside of me right now. Clueless, looking for the right road, anxious about any wrong turn I might take and fearing the realization that what if I reach the point of no return. 

Many times, during the journey back home, I sat like a statue in my car, not knowing if I'm driving right, not knowing if i should have waited, not knowing what waited for me after inching ten meters. But it did not feel new. Afterall, the soul has been fogged down for days.

It just took the onset of the fog today, for me to realize, what's ailing my soul.

It's the dense fog, surrounding me, gaping at me and I have nowhere to go...  

Up Away In The Clouds...

Being the workaholic Cappy, I suck at taking a break from work. And so I attempted to break from that pattern. Fourth of July saw me gathering my dear ones and driving to a quaint cantonment town amongst the clouds of Solan - Kasauli.

We started early morning and the beautiful scenary enroute just added to our fervour. The pitter patter of the rain drops had become our companion through out the journey and even greeted us as we entered the cantonment.

What waited there for us was memorable scenic beauty, the unforgettable moments at the Jogger's Trail, lazy banter at the balcony where clouds became our companion and then came the most beautiful part - the trek upto the Manki Point ( Hanuman Temple).

On day 2, we decided we wanted to check out the Manki Point which was within the Cantonment Area. Since any electronic device is not allowed there, we could not capture the beauty that surrounded us but the memories would stay etched in our hearts forever.

Climbing 300 stairs for a lazy bum is no easy task and thus by the time we reached our destination, I was huffing, puffing and panting. I could actually feel the streak of sweat trickling down my spine. I was expecting this but what I wasn't was the sight that greeted me there.

The most refreshing gush of breeze nipped through my being and it felt that I have suddenly risen from my slumber. After a quick visit to the temple, we walked towards the other side of the hillock which was facing the valley.

The clouds had flown in to welcome us and they were dancing aorund, teasing us in a rythmic flow. I looked down and all I could see was white. Not a single spec of another color was visible. I leaned on the ralling, stretched my arms and took deepest of the breath that I could.

As the sparkle of freshness filled through me, I felt as if I was suspended in air, up away in the clouds and no ground beneath me. My soul was drifting away with the clouds.

And then suddenly, the chants of Raghu Pati Raghav Raja Ram started reverberating across the valley. Some sort of peace had fallen upon all of us. One by one, each one of us tied the red kalava on the morpankhi tree and possibly wished for a pie in the sky.

It was sheer magic at 6400 feets up in the air. The stroll down the hillock was all about reminiscing what we felt up there. And then it was time to bid adieu to the beautiful clouds.

I may be back to where I belong, back to the daily grind, back to where I live life but some part of me is lingering around in the clouds. A part of me is still standing over the hill top, near the ralling, arms stretched, a wide grin adorning my face......up away in the clouds....

Mirage...

A mirage tells you that a paradise is nearby...but the beauty of mirage is that the paradise never appears...its a fool's paradise...

Of all the people, it's the earthy goat who should remember the deception that the mirage offers. Walk past it and pretend it never met you enroute the journey of life...

Wishes For My Darling...

I met this sweet girl almost 2 years back and it has been a memorable journey since then. We've laughed together, we've danced together, we've chatted away to glory during our offsites, we've gazed outside the train window together and we've shared the kurkuri idlis at YBR, don't know how many times together.

Well this one is all about you darling. As you're getting ready to set onto the journey that will initate the next phase of your life, here's a bouquet of wishes coming right your way.

May you be blessed with all the happiness and best wishes that the universe can bestow upon anyone. I wish & pray that a bed of roses adorns the path on which you are about to set your foot on.  May the holy fire around which you shall take your pheras, protect both of you from all the trials & tribulations that life tends to throw our way. May small good luck trinkets adorn each nook and corner of the home which is going to be yours.

Make lots of memories, smile a lot, dance a lot, hug your dear ones as many times you want coz this is the most special moment of your life and will always stay close to your heart.

May you live happily ever after ...Princess!!

May God bless you...

Mixed Bag...

As I look back at the month gone by, all I can say is that it was a mixed bag of news and emotions.Some of it good and some of it was not so good.

Two of my best buddies became proud parents. They've been blessed with angelic daughters and I totally am in love with both of them. I wish, I could just fly out to meet them as soon as possible. On one hand I was rejoicing in the happiness of my buds becoming mommy & daddy, on the other hand I got news that I was not expecting.

A very dear friend of mine lost his father to cancer. We had not been in touch for quite some time and when I got his text, I was speechless. I couldn't speak with him at that moment but met up with him soon.

What is it about endings and beginnings that they always go hand in hand and leave you with mixed feelings. Why can't they survive without each other? Everytime I see myself getting sandwiched between a creation & a culmination, I keep thinking about this question and fail to find the right answer. The answer that might put my anxiety to rest, the answer that would explain the circle of life, the answer that would explain this unsaid rule of life.

If any of you have an answer, do share with me...