My Grams...

This one's about one of the most loved person from my life...my Grams...my Nana Papa...

Well the gentleman in the picture is not him....he just reminds me of him and thus this post. Its been almost nine years since he passed away but his memories are etched in my heart forever. And thus, when few months back I happen to see this elderly gentleman at Gurudwara Shri Bangla Sahib, I saw my Grams in him.

I have this habit of visiting the Gurudwara in the wee hours of the morning post work. The freshly cooked, hot and piping Kada Prashad is the culprit behind this timing and also the fact that the calm of the early morning is very endearing.

I don't remember when was the first time I saw him walking softly inside the main arena to pay his respect. His slow gait, white flowing beard and the optimism to go through this morning ritual tugged at my heart and brought a smile to my face. I practically saw my Grams walking in front me. I thought - " He would have looked just the same had he been there today".

Over the months, everytime I visited the Gurudwara, he would always be there and his gait kept getting slower with each visit. I used to look forward to this rare sighting. The last time I saw him was in second week of November 2015. It was visiting the Gurudwara after a long break and wasn't sure I would get to see him. I paid my respects and I was just starting to head back home when I saw this frail figure walk up the stairs and slowly walk towards the main arena. It was him....

He had grown very frail and took more than 30 seconds to take each step. For the first time in all these months I saw a family member accompany him. I felt happy to see him yet there was something that made me sad...his health was on the downslide and it was very visible. I stopped in my track and stayed back to see some more of him. It took him a long time to enter the Gurudwara and pay his respects.

I went back wondering when would I get to see him next. Another month went by and soon approached December 29 - my Gram's birthday. Every year, I try to visit Gurudwara on his birthday and thus I was back at my source of solace on a chilling winter morning. I waited for a long time, hoping to catch a glimpse of my Gram's reflection but alas... he did not turn up till the time I was there.

I went back with an anxiety about his well being. May be it was too cold and so he did not come; maybe I reached there too early and he would have come later; maybe he was out of station.... All these thoughts started clouding my mind.  

Time went by & I rang in the New Year, enjoyed my birthday, celebrated my darling doll's birthday, took a nice and lazy annual leave and today I am all geared up to join office for the first time in 2016. I don't know when would I be going back to the Gurudwara but everyday I hope and pray, that whenever I go next, I find him there.... my Gram's reflection...

Wishing health and happiness for him... God Bless...

Forehead Kiss...

While browsing through FB posts of my friends, I came across this beautiful image that talks about the kiss on the forehead. Am shamelessly using the pic for my post and I admit that the image is not a piece of my creativity. 

No one has ever explained a forehead kiss as beautifully as the text of this image. The moment I read it, I knew I had to share it. As I read each line, a smile spread across my face. These beautiful lines would cross my mind every time I would kiss a dear one on forehead or I get one on mine. The purest form of affection apart from a hug. 

Don't know which line is better than the other. But my favourite..."You're Mine"...

Let There Be Light...

It is that time of the year when there is fragrance in the air, a nip that makes you shiver - settles around, evenings get dark early and it is light that you see all around - wherever you traverse.

This is how I love to describe the year end festive season. I guess I have been writing about this year on year and yet I can't stop myself from writing again. Well this is one of my favourite times of the year and the feeling of festivity engulfs me with a happy hug.

Being a shopaholic, I can be easily found in any nook and corner of any of the malls in the NCR and you would see me gazing at the beautiful lights if not indulging in retail therapy. For me these lights are special.

They speak to me. They tell me that hey girlie - the year is coming to an end and something new is brewing up. Something I haven't experienced before, something good...something not so good...some learnings and many moments to cherish. I gaze at the lights and reminisce about the year gone by - just how quickly it went in a breath.

I'm sure like me, there are many of you out there - the crazy light gazers...the hopeful ones who dream through these lights and smile at what's in store. Well here's what I have to say -

"Let there be light...coz the night is shining bright...

There is so much more to come... it has only just begun...

Just open your arms to the magic...

Let the excitement of what's to come make everything enigmatic...

End your day with the colorful glitter etched in your eyes...

And when you open your eyes... the night is shining bright..."

Happy festive season to all my dear ones. May the festive lights brighten your days and sparkle your nights. May you be blessed with happiness, health and success. Something special is about to happen...

Cheers!!!

Ikigai

I am one of the Twitterati. On top of that am an ardent SRK follower on Twitter - one of the very few learned bollywood celebrities. He writes from the soul.

Few minutes back, I read this post by SRK where he wrote about "Ikigai". As the above placed image says - "Ikigai is a reason for being; the thing that gets you up in the morning"". Everyone, according to the Japanese, has an Ikigai. Finding it requires a deep and often lengthy search of self. SRK's Ikigai was the "Magic".

The moment I read this post, something spurred inside me. I thought, do I have an Ikigai?

I know if for a fact that I haven't ever done a deep soul search to zero in on what is it that awakes me every morning or the real purpose of my life. But I do know that there are so many things that I want to do and these wake me up every morning.

I wake up with the desire to travel where I have never put my foot.

I wake up with the desire that someday soon I want to offer food at a Gurudwara dearest to me.

I wake up with the desire to make a difference at work.

I wake up with a determination to make my dear ones smile.

I wake up with the desire to write something that tugs at my heart.

I wake up with the desire to get drenched on a beach.

I wake up with the desire to sit in the "Valley of Flowers" and ponder mindlessly.

I wake up with the desire to bungee jump and scream my throat out with excitement.

I wake up with the desire to touch the coral reefs.

I wake up with the desire to make my cute cub smile each day.

I wake up with the desire to dirty dance with abandon.

I wake up with the desire to see the sun rise before me...floating around a mist of clouds.

I wake up with the desire to be with who the heart desires, forever.

And the list goes on. All these have been on my mind yet  I have not really done much to make these a reality. Thus, I want this change...I want to rouse from my self created slumber and make way for my desires...soon...very soon....

Welcoming The New Ones...

With the roller - coaster life that I have had in the last several months and years, the cynic in me had determined .... no more new people... no more so called friends or rather dear ones....I had decided that my cold shell in the corner would be my abode. The few dear ones close to heart would only be allowed a sneak peek inside now and then. That is how I had envisaged my years to come.

But then, who are we in front of the biggest trickster of all times... the One Above. He/ She had this totally different plan for me. He/ She said -

"Run my dear...run...run as fast as you can...as away as you can... but you won't find that cold shell in the corner...everytime you would make yourself believe that you have alienated yourself from others...I would send across some angels to take care of you. They may do their bit and vanish once the time's up but they would at some point of time look after you."

Few months back, I was once again in such a mode wherein I was slowly crawling towards my shell but little did I know that life was going to bring forth a surprise yet again.

Suddenly came barging into my life - a fiesty, determined, sunny "Leo". I fondly call him "Shera" now.

What happens when the fiesty meets the willful? Sparks fly....but more than that.... lightbulbs explode all around...And that is what happened.

Shera did not come alone. With him, came two more precious ones. A sweet soul Piscean and yet another sea goat Capricorn like me. While I weave this story for you all, it's very important for you to know that Shera is the center of the story. Without him, there would not have been a story... without him, the precious ones would not have come into the picture...without him, I would have probably succeeded in retracing back into my shell.

But all of this would come later. 

When Shera & I first met, everything crackled and I ensured that the lightbulbs cracked.... I questioned everything - our first meeting, why was I there, why was he there, what did he want, what was I looking for and the list goes on. While the meeting ended...the short circuit happened two days later. I blew it....Pop came out the declaration - "I'm not looking at making new friends...so why are you here?"

And I walked out in seconds...Lets get back to the shell. What a relief...This is what I am good at. Crawling back...

Oh boy I was so mistaken this time. Not only did Shera come back, he also sparkled his sunny streak on me and told me to just hang in there and for once  - not to worry. There was something in his eyes and voice that made me sit back and believe him. And life has not been the same as before.

While this new association was still sinking in my heart....Shera brought forth two more bubbles in my life. The Piscean whom I call the sweet soul and the sea goat who is the youngets amongst all of us. The kiddo is like a jumping enthu cutlet and that is what I fondly call her. She is our toy and we don't leave any stone unturned in troubling her, pampering her and taking care of her. The sweet soul is like a silent storm. Don't be fooled by his calm and quiet exterior. Deep inside, he is as mischievous and prankster as Shera.

I am amazed at the games that the One Above plays. I can't believe how smoothly did these 3 dear ones just sauntered into my life and I just stood their in awe...welcoming them with open arms and warm smile.

Was I the one who said - I'm not looking at making new friends? You got to be kidding me....

Shera ensured that I came out of this self imposed exile. While I still bask in the memory of the cherished moments that we have spent together... I am already looking forward to many more such moments of togetherness...and all of this is real only because of Shera.

Till we all meet next....Cheers....

Heartfelt Condolence...

No one knows what the next widget of time has in store for any of us. My Sunday started on a usual note...lazy and peaceful. I was looking forward to a quiet day in order to prep up for a crazy week.

But I had no idea, how the day was going to shape up. I was just scrolling up my FB page and I suddenly came across a condolence message posted on a dear one's FB page. I could not believe what I read there. It was as fresh as 60 minutes back. Shock and disbelief flooded me....a very dear friend of mine had lost her father few hours back. Had no courage to call her....what would I have said?

As the day passed , I went to meet her and all I could do was give her a tight hug. For the next several minutes... just sat next to her and tried to converse though my mind wasn't working.

This was not supposed to happen to her... not now atleast...

Somehow the day ended and up I rose on Monday afternoon...ready to face the frenzy. But I was not ready for what was in store. I reached office and within the first hour I got another sad piece of news. One of my colleague's father also passed away on Sunday night.

Shocked and bewildered... I stared at the small Ganesha perched up on my table... and asked him - "What's going on"

Why my dear ones....why the very same day? Obviously no answer came back....their time had come so they had to go....that's all anyone would say. Five of us went to meet him and spent some time with his family. I would never want to meet a friend's family for the first time under such circumstances but we are never given such choice.

Both parents were unwell and biding time. Then it all came to an end. Feeling very sad and helpless. This is not how I wanted my week to be... this is not how my dear ones would have envisaged their upcoming week.

Reaching out to the stars and the light above....please keep both my dear ones warm...take care of them in their time of need...give them the strength to sail through thia tough moment...

Offering my condolences...May the fathers rest in peace...

Do Ankhiyaan...

Once you read this post, you all would wonder why is the music note here since the post has nothing to do with it.

But for some reason, I found it to be an apt picture to use it for my post. After a long time, I heard a song that stirred something in me today and the broken note is a symbol of what the singer is trying to say....

I have been listening to the song on a repeat mode and it just gets more beautiful...more meaningful...and more haunting each time I listen to it.

Sau aansoo roye do akhiyan
Sau aansoo roye do akhiyan
Maara hai jinhe neendon ne
Kabhi na soye wo akhiyan

Dil ka musaafir baat na maane
Mud mud dekhe raste puraane
Zidd chhodta hi nahi (nahi..)

Dekh raha hai kaanch ke sapne
Ik na ik din hain jo tidakne
Ishq mein tooti cheeze jag mein
Koi jodta hi nahi, dil jaane na

Sau aasoon roye do akhiyan
Sau aasoon roye do akhiyan
Maara hai jinhe neendon ne
Kabhi na soye wo akhiyaan
Wo ankhiyan..

O..

Jaane waala jaane nahi
Jaane se uske jaan gayi
Aate jaate phir wo dikhe
Palkon ne chhaane mod kayi

Guzra huaa pal guzra nahi
Uska laga rang utra nahi
Hothon se chhuti nahi gaye saajan ki batiyan

Sau aansu roye do akhiyan
Sau aansu roye do akhiyan
Maara hai jinhe neendon ne
Kabhi na soye wo akhiyan

Wo.. o...

Kaise koi roke bhalaa
Haath laqeerein chhod gayin
Laakhon dil ke tukde kiye
Dhadkan ko bhi tod gayi

Kabhi theharega dard kahin
Koi gunjaaish dikhti nahi
Chanda bin jiya na lage
Jal kaajal si ratiyan

Sau aansu roye do akhiyan
Sau aansu roye do akhiyan
Maara hai jinhein neendon ne
Kabhi na soye woh akhiyan

Wo.. o...

Sau aansu roye
Sau aansu roye do akhiyan
Sau aansu roye do akhiyan
Sau aansu roye..
Maara hai jinhein neendon ne..
Kabhi na soye... woh akhiyaan..

Just what I wanted to hear... a broken music note....